| Noah's profileBut I Digress...PhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
June 17 Family-friendly, My A$$! So they just installed a two-story carosel in the mall's food court. They put it there as a way to make the mall more fun for the family - therefore, bringing in more business due to the novelty. More fun? Yeah f*cking right! If anything, it makes it worse for the families.
Do you really think parents want yet another thing to make kids more a pain in the ass while at the mall? Why do you think parents usually choose the mall instead of specialty stores? To get all of their shopping done as quickly as possible, so they can get the hell out before their kids start dragging their feet! Kids are a pain to shop with. Think about it, how many times have you seen a parent lugging around a kid who is acting like he's paralized from the waist down; screaming about how he wants to "go to the toy store and play with thathingandthenjwiudh!!!", snot running down his face like tears? Yeah, sounds like a lot of fun. And NOW this mall has more reasons for parents to start drinking. It's a new dilemma for parents: Do you take the kids to the carosel at the beginning to get it over with, or at the end of shopping? Either way, you as a parent is screwed. If you do it beforehand, the kid won't want to leave, and he/she will scream when you try and pry his cold, lifeless hands off of the plastic horse. Or do you wait until the end, knowing the little spazz will not stop asking when they are going to ride it. I swear to God I heard this conversation at the table behind me at lunch today: Kid: I wanna go on the ride! Mom: I know, honey. We will after we eat. Kid: But I'm not hungry! Mom: Please just eat your sandwhich and we will go on the ride. Dooshbag: But, MOM!!! Please can I ride it? Mom: Yes, dear. Eat your food first. Senor Doosh: BUT I SAID PLEASE! Mom: I know, and that was very polite. But your sister and you need to eat first. Doosh: YOU SAID I COULD RIDE IT!! Mom: And your dad said the pulling-out method worked. Kid: What? Mom: Nothing. Eat your sandwhich. All these things do is make parents go nuts. They aren't family-friendly at all. If a place REALLY wants to make things more enjoyable, they should have a daycare center. That way, parents can enjoy themselves. If anything, they'll shop more. With kids preoccupied, parents don't have to rush anymore. I mean, there's a reason that Wal-Mart - where most familes shop - also sells alcohol. But I digress... May 17 Real Reason for High Gas PricesI think I finally figured out why gas prices are so high: Pixar's new movie Cars. I mean, jesus, how much petrol did they go through for that movie?! You KNOW those cars didn't get each scene right in just one take. C'mon, Disney/Pixar, we are in a CRISIS here! Try and show some compassion. *sigh* Some people! But I digress... April 17 Cha Cha Cha...Dingleberries!!Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a blog; and for that I apologize. I’ve been really busy, switched jobs, and so forth. Now I’m back! I’m a little older, a little wiser…and there’s still plenty of shit that pisses me off. So without further ado, let’s get back to it:
There are many commercials in this world that are funny. Some make us laugh; others make us cry. Some feature stereotypical family situations (which will be another blog. Trust me!); and some have adorable puppies. Some are filled with music of inspiration, joy, love, feeling…then there are the commercials with bears wiping their asses.
Yeah, you read correctly. No typos there. Bears using toilet paper and discussing the correct amount of TP to use to scoop their lingerers. Yeah…nice!
First off, the commercials exposed me to something I didn’t know. Bears poop next to trees(?!). I always thought they were scratching their backs, but they were really dropping the “kids off at the pool”?? Yeah that settles it: I’m never going camping AGAIN!! I mean, damn, no wonder my mom made me wash my hands when I came inside from climbing trees! Sick.
In these very disturbing commercials, one bear explains to another bear that they simply use way too much toilet paper on their bear ass (no pun intended). “You use 5 pieces? Silly, use 3 instead.” And all of this is in a sing-song, so that the viewers don’t get queasy at the thought of mountainous bear excrement.
What’s the big deal, you say. Everybody poops. That’s exactly what they want you to think! The song is nice and calm and comforting; whereas if you really thought about it, you’d realize that a lot of bears eat fish. We all know how good that smells! Cows and horses eat grain, and their pies never smell good; so just magnify that 5x and you got a bear’s. Now is it so damn wonderful?!
Then they had a follow-up commercial that just proved my point. Lately, there’s a commercial for Charmin wet-wipes. And why are these made? The commercial explains: “Sometimes TP doesn’t get it all.”
Well no f*cking shit! Stupid bears. If you only use 3 squares, and your ass could be mistaken for Robin Williams', you are going to have a lot left over!! A couple pieces aren’t going to eliminate all of the dingleberries! So why don’t you just use the same amount of TP that you did in the first place, and it’ll same you both time AND money!
I don’t want a dancing bear with a poo-tail trying to sell me toilet paper. I think everyone would agree with me that the fecal follies of bears are not an efficient way to push a product.
For me, I’ll stick with the old Charmin guy who proclaimed: “Don’t squeeze the Charmin.” It was simple, to the point, and had a wise philosophy behind it. Toilet paper is about privacy. So what he really meant was to stay out of other people’s business. In other words: Don’t squeeze the Charmin, and don’t be nosey; because if you do, you’ll just wind up with crap on your hands.
But I digress… February 26 Haircare: A Question of EthicsAs many of you probably know, I pretend to think a lot. Well, the other day, I came upon a thought. All the time, you hear about how unethical lawyers are. How they are sharks, and are lower than dirt. But why in the hell don't people criticize hair stylists for being just as much, if not more, unethical?! Look all around you when out in public: How many times a day do you see a hair style that is just friggin horrible? How often do stylists put on a smile and say, "There you go, Jethrow. Your mullet looks great!" Or: "Now that I've finished braiding your rat-tail, your hair looks professional for work, and yet hip for the stock car races." Or even: "We're all finished, Mr. Trump." It all makes me sick! Lawyers are unethical? Maybe. Yeah, they represent killers/robbers/Winona Ryders; yeah, they cause innocent witnesses to break down on the stand; yeah, O.J. was found not guilty. But you know what? No lawyer has ever fashioned the Pompadour. I rest my case. But I digress... February 05 Wal-Mart Greeters are Dooshes Let me ask you something. If you have a job, you have to do that job, right? Like if you are a custodian, you have to clean the building; not just decide that you will only wipe the windows. And if you were a landscaper, you know that your job is more than digging, right? You can't just spend your day chucking firecrackers down gopher holes.
So why in the fart is it ok for Wal-Mart greeters to choose who they say hi to? I cannot count how many times my girlfriend and I have gone into Wal-Mart and the old greeter women just ignored us. Hell, two days ago, the old woman saw us come in, turned around, and walked away! What is that?! Listen, lady, so I'm not 40 years old. I'm not pushing screaming kids in a shopping cart. I don't have the jaded "I hate my job", glazed look in my eyes. But you know what? Say hello anyways. I'm not the punk kid who blares his music past your house; but if you don't say hello, I'll switch your Preparation H with Ben Gay. Your job, believe it or not, is to -and here's where the mind-blowing part comes in- GREET people who walk in. It's in your f*cking job title! That's right; when you see or hear a new person come in, you vocalize a type of greeting. So unless you are Hellen Keller, your job is the EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD! You can't be so selective at a job. If I was a teacher, I wouldn't help the smarter kids, and fling pencils at the slower ones. If I was a marine biologist, I wouldn't sucker punch dolphins. So guess what, you old bag, greet everybody! For those of you out there who have had the same experience, I say let's rise up! If you walk in, and a greeter ignores you, walk right up and shake there hand. Better yet, hug them. As you hold them, cup the back of your head and whisper softly, "Shhhhh. You don't have to say a word. I can feel what you are thinking, and you gotta know I feel the same." Or: "I'll meet you behind the produce." Maybe then they will decide that simply waving a hello isn't pushing them out of their comfort zone. But I digress... January 23 Fade Away, Little Star. Fade the F*ck Away A wise man once asked a profound question: "Is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?" Actually...it was Barry (Jack Black) in High Fidelity; but the question is still a good one. When is it time for a musician to hang up his/her career, and just bow out gracefully?
I think this is quite the dilemma, seeing as how not even the artists know when to move the f*ck on. Exhibit A: Aerosmith. Don't get me wrong; I love these guys. One of my favorite songs is "Dream On", and I have many of their CDs. However, in the past couple years, they've gotten weak. I don't know how many people have looked at the booklet you get with the CD, but if you look, you'll notice they don't even write their own songs anymore. Sure, Steven's name is listed as a writer, but there are also like 5 other names of people who aren't even in the band. C'mon people, Tyler and Perry have been sober for a long time now; I think you could let them take over again. Strike One. Then there's the mistake of the song "Just Push Play". Just push play?! Those are lyrics to not only a rock song, but for AEROSMITH? Jesus, what's next; "You TiVO'd My Heart"?! Strike Two. Strike Three comes from something I saw on TV in December. Steven Tyler was going to appear on a Disney Channel show. That stung worse than when Bambi's mom was shot. I mean...when the Detroit Red Wings lost that one match by one free throw. Yeah, that sounds more manly. Moving on to Exhibit 2... Bon Jovi. Have you heard their new single "Have a Nice Day"? Yeah, it's an ok song. However, I liked it better when it was called "It's My Life." Serious, Jon, did you think, "hey, I have two choruses, so what should I do? I know! I'll record them both, but release the versions a couple years apart." Never has a song sounded so much like a rip-off since the great "Under Pressure"/"Ice, Ice Baby" scandal. But moving beyond the sound of the song, what about the message? Jon, you are in your forties. Who in the hell is still trying to tell you what to do? AARP?! When you get in your forties, have bowel problems (documented in the title of the Yahoo story Bon Jovi on the Skids http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060123/en_music_eo/18209;_ylt=AnSJZQ74PTlgCJoqZvFv.XTAGL8C; _ylu=X3oDMTA4dDg2MG9mBHNlYwMxNjk3 ), and co-own an arena football team, it's really hard (and quite lame) to pretend that you have some youthful angst. I mean, the dude co-starred in Ally McBeal, for God's sake! The fact of the matter is, if you lose your edge, or whatever defined you as a musician: Move on. You can still make money off of national, farewell, and/or casino tours. Hell, Cher's on her 56th Farewell Tour, and she's still making a ton of money. Even Celine Dion realized that (1) she sucked, and (2) once people stopped buying Titanic DVDs and CDs, her career would be over; so she went to where some over-hyped singers end up: Vegas. She's hardly released any new stuff since then (thank God). But I digress... December 11 Unknown facts about Chuck Norris (or: The Man Behind the Stubble)This biography of Chuck Norris brought to you by Adam Almighty (check the blog lists to the left) and http://www.4q.cc/chuck/ :
The dinosaurs were not killed by a comet. Chuck Norris destroyed it before impact. He then yelled "psyche!" and proceeded to kill every dinosaur with his bare hands.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes. Ever.
The reason The VietCong dug tunnels in Vietname was not to make suprise attacks on South Vietnamese or American soldiers, but to hide from Chuck Norris...
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "F*cking."
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down!
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard in the face, they ceased to exist. This of course was never documented, because Chuck Norris then proceeded to roundhouse kick everyone within the vicinity out of existance as well. He then later wrote a book about it, a book that we now refer to as "The Bible."
If Chuck Norris' blood ever touches the ground the world will implode.
And finally:
Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, "I believe... I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride." Arnie says, "I believe... that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements." God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, "I believe... you are sitting in my seat." December 09 O'Reilly's N*zi Yahtzee In The O'Reilly Factor's December 8th show, Billiam discussed the recent incident where Ann Coulter was booed and jeered as she was trying to give a speech to the University of Connecticut. He expressed to fellow Fox anchor Ellis Henican about how rude he felt the actions against her were (which I somewhat agree with). He then went on to say a bold statement; he said that the far-left-wing nuts involved were Nazis! Yes, that's right, he said they were Nazi's. He went on to explain that the Nazis were known to boo and jeer anyone they opposed.
It was then that I knew the jig was up. O'Reilly single-handedly has figured us all out!! So like the end of any James Bond movie or episode of Murder She Wrote, I will fully reveal our dastardly liberal plan. Yes, Billy Boy and Annie "Get Your Gun" Coulter, we are evil, elistist Nazis who plan on taking over the world.
You know how liberals tend to be more pro-choice, where we say that the government shouldn't have the right to tell a woman what she can or can't do with her own body? Well, really we support it because by limiting the growth of the US population, we will have an easier time controlling them.
Also, you know how some of us want to legalize gay marriage; where once again we say feel that the government shouldn't tell someone what they can or can't do because of their sexual preference? Our actual plan for them is to use them for their fashion sense and democratic votes. But no need to worry; if we ever find them useless, we will get rid of them. And it's easier to round them up if they are paired off, am I right?
And you know that bill we tried to pass that would help everyone have healthcare? Our master plan for that was to tamper with the vaccinations in order to sterilize all those against us. Also, we were planning on implanting tracking devices into people. Don't worry! They will only be used for spying and brainwashing.
Seriously though, how does the act of booing pinpoint a Nazi over someone who actually talks about the evils of homosexuality? That must mean sports arenas are full of Third Reich members disguised as civilians. That's enough to keep you up at night!
But I digress... December 06 Happy Horrid-days So The 700 Club and the "Fair and Balanced" Fox News Channel have an exciting new topic to bitch and moan about it. I believe that FNC labeled it best:
"The War on Christmas"!!!
Yes, that's right - according to those two holier-than-thou entities - those leftist, Commie bastards are trying to destroy what we as Americans hold so dear, so precious. My fellow Americans, there is a war a-brewing on our beloved soil.
"Now what could it be?" you may ask. "What are liberals doing? Are they doing drive-by's on Salvation Army bell people? Are they drop-kicking any plastic Jesuses (I have no idea what the plural for Jesus is. Jesi?) they find in people's yards?"
No, my gentile friends. I wish I could confirm any of those, but I fear it's much, much worse. This is what is really going on:
Some businesses (both major and small ones) are saying "Happy Holidays".
The agony! The blasphemy! The...wait, that's it?
Yes, that is it. People such as Pat Robertson and Bill O'Reilly are getting their thongs all in a bunch just because places such as Wal-Mart are going the more welcoming, democratic, all-inclusive way. I don't fully understand the complaint. First off, I love how this is all liberals' faults. Why in the crap do they get the blame? Do they control Wal-Mart? Nope, leaders of the Christian Coalition, highly Republican/conservative, do.
"Well," as Captain Blotchy aka O'Reilly snorts, "liberals are doing this all in their attempt at legalizing gay marriage, euthanasia, and drugs. This is just the tip of their radical iceberg."
That may seem a bit harsh sounding, yet the way he's talked about it has been much worse. But anyway, that's how it has been addressed. All of a sudden, the words "Happy Holidays" have become synonymous with "Jesus is a Homo" to these people. I just don't get it. It's not like they are putting down Christians; they are simply choosing to not put down every other religion in the U.S.
You'd think that FNC, the puppy dogs of patriotism (stupid and obeidient to anyone with a treat), would be applauding these people, since they are standing tall for the amendment stating the separation of church and state. Nope. Instead they are complaining that these acts are killing the joy of the season. I've been to stores during their "Day After Thanksgiving Sale", and I'm here to tell you there is no joy of the season anymore. Just vultures with grocery carts. *shudder*
Which brings me to my next point. The complaints are towards businesses. Since when have they been having Christmas sales with the Christian tradition as their main income. Nativity action figures aren't sold out every year; Virgin Mary flip-flops aren't constantly on back-order. Instead, people buy items to give for presents. Parents buy gifts for kids and label them as being from (SPOILER ALERT!) Santa.
And who is Big Saint Nick? No, that wasn't Jesus's nickname in prison; it's the figure-head used for the spirit of today's Christmas. A happy figure, a loving figure, a SECULAR one. The whole season has become more about family than J-Dogg (which, according to the Bible, actually was his nickname in jail). Hell, whenever the 25th fell on a Sunday, the attendance at my old church was the lowest of the year. Why? Because it's a family holiday now, and going to church would have postponed the festivities. See how the priorities have changed?
Hardly any Christian holidays haven't been changed into secular ones. Easter is another one. How do people celebrate that holiday? Do they erect crosses and reenact the events like they do with the nativity scene? Do they roll away a boulder from their garage door and exclaim, "Behold, for He is no longer layeth in the tomb!" No. Instead they have the Easter bunny who hides colored eggs for little kids to find; and chocolate sales sky-rocket.
So really, stores haven't been in business for the Christian version of Christmas for a long time, so why is it such a surprise that they are trying to have a wider approach? Have the people at FNC and The 700 Club not noticed the materialistic nature of our capitalistic society?
I think that Pat Robertson just needs a hug. So if you see him, please give him a big one. Just be careful; he probably smells like moth balls and cheap booze.
But I digress... November 28 Looking for a Few Good Men...orities I like Bill Maher. To be more specific, I like how he is willing to speak freely without the fear of being judged. In fact, I'd like to think of this site to have the receipe of: Maher backbone meets an Ebert critique of current issues, with a dash of Franken wit, mixed to become a smooth texture like the music of Yanni or old-school John Tesh. Ok well, maybe not the last part. Anyway...
This past week I've been reading his 2002 book "When you ride ALONE you ride with bin Laden." I would highly recommend this read. It's a little preachy, yet still intelligent and well-said. While I do have some similar political beliefs as Maher, there are still some I just can't get behind.
The biggest one I found I differed on was his stance on today's military recruits. Or lack thereof, to be more accurate. He believes that today's young adults aren't enlisting anymore because they are lazy, selfish, and don't understand (read: care) what past generations have done for their freedom. He asks: "How can we expect kids who've been brought up on the notion that they're more precious than anything else to suddenly understand living for a nobler ideal?"
Are the Gen Y's lazy and selfish? Well....yeah. Is it because we don't understand what past generations have sacrificed for our country? Probably. Does that have anything to do with why the MTV-gen haven't been enlisting? Not at all.
Then why? Why hasn't there been a huge rush to enlist and "fight the good fight" or "get your motor running" ? Why don't we have the same feeling as past generations?
I'd like to direct the answer to Maher's mention of nobility and freedom. How has us going to Iraq have anything to do with our freedom? Granted, that war became about "freeing" the Iraqi people, named Operation: Iraqi Freedom, the third draft after Operation: Obtain WMD's and Operation: Oops, We F*cked Up.
This war started out with a purposely misleading agenda; Bush actually won that war. Halliburton attained the oil fields and the assignment of rebuilding that area (dubbed Operation: Cha-Ching). Then when the weapons weren't there, he pretended that the months of campaigning to the UN didn't happen, and pretended to be this benevolent helper to the Iraqi people; but yet still refuses to leave after Saddham because Iraq isn't "stable enough" (stable meaning democratic and Christian). Meanwhile, the reserves are being sent overseas to fight. You know, the reserves who are supposed to be here if the country was attacked. Yeah, genius "strategery", Bubba.
So now is there any question of why people aren't sprinting to Uncle Sam's bandwagon? Is anything about this war noble? I know I phrased the situation cynically, but the main events are still accurate.
The fact of the matter is there are no noble wars anymore. There haven't been for a long time. Once bombs became hydro and nuclear, where all we had to do was the proverbial "hit it and quit it," war-time hasn't been the same. Now we don't even have to land to take out the enemy; we don't even have to feel what it's like to look into the enemy's eyes as we kill them. Now it's just wham, bam, thank you, Ali Ababwa.
Combine that fact with misleading wars based on greed, nobility doesn't even enter the equation. It's like having a glass of milk, then washing the glass (stay with me here). A few days later, you may fill it up with orange juice. After a few sips, you nostalgically say, "Remember when milk used to be in here?" You know how good the milk was when present; but as long as the new factor is present (the orange, for some of you lost), you know milk just doesn't fit in. It isn't until the offending agent is cleaned away that the milk can return for more satisfying results. Same with greed and selfishness needing to be out of the equation for nobility to even exist in war.
Now those such as Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter may suggest I am bashing soldiers out there risking their lives. Am I suggesting they are not honorable in this dishonorable war? Of course not. I have nothing but respect for those men and women. I fully support US troops. I support them by wanting them to come home, ending their duty as W's pawns. Bush, in fact, is the one not supporting troops. He is the one who misused their patriotism and trust for his own money and poll percentages.
Speaking of presidents and nobility, remember when they cared so much about a cause that they led the way. Remember when George Washington led battles for independence? Granted, he wasn't president at the time, but the point still holds true. He put his life on the line. He saw the importance of the freedom of the Americas and he got his hands dirty.
Jump forward more than 200 years. Now you have Bush starting this "war on terror" (no, not the one with the people who actually attacked us, but with one in that same continent). A war that he believes in so much that he will dedicate thousands of soldiers, billions of dollars - and spend hundreds of days vacationing at his Texas ranch - to win. That's quality. That's pride. That's American.
Even military recruiting has gotten shady. Commercials suggest adventure and free education. Wow, man, I get to learn about computers! Never mind the computers are used to kill people. Speaking of education, the military also offers to pay for college. Who do you think these commercials are aimed towards? The children of politicians? Heck no, they are too busy with polo clubs and secret societies to enlist. The ads are used to enlist the lower class and minorities that may not have much of a future; which is an interesting fact, seeing as how the rich are responsible for the lower class's grim future.
First off, let's clarify this shady promise. They don't pay the expenses for any college of your choosing. There is actually a specific amount of money they will give you for school. So if your expenses go above that, well then, it's up to you. Also, the government decides when you get to go to college. For example, if you join now, you have to go through training, then if they want, they ship you overseas...a couple of times, THEN if you don't go AWOL or quit as soon as you get home, then finally it's: "Hello, Community College!" It's kind of like a long game of Monopoly (is there any other kind?); whether you win or lose, by the time you finish the game, you are too tired to care anymore.
Why is the nobility of citizens being question so much, seeing as how the President, Washington, and the military are acting so shady?
So as a Gen Y-er I will respond to Mr. Maher. Would I bear arms to protect my country? Yes, I would. Would I risk my life for the freedom of my friends and family? Yes. Would I defend myself against evil? Once again: Yes. Would I answer our current President's call to war? Are you stoned?
Until our freedom is actually threatened, and wars are fought nobly and with honor; not cowardly and for greed, there are no reasons for one to enlist.
But I digress...
|
|
||||
|
|
